The Dreaded Self-Help Paradox and How To Avoid It

When I was 19, my father gave me my first-ever ‘self-help’ book, Stephen Covey’s “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” I read it and followed every habit, method, and framework. I fell down a self-help rabbit hole later that summer and learned the hard way that too much of a good thing can be detrimental. I started suffering from paralysis by analysis when I began swapping out one self-help technique for another until I couldn’t decide which method to go with. Similar issues began popping up in nearly every dimension of self-improvement I tried to tackle during that period. ‘Self-help’ became self-limiting, and I eventually became disillusioned with the genre. 

Years later, I realized I fell into a form of self-help paradox. The more obsessive you become in your pursuit of self-improvement, the farther you stray from it. Read too many books, attend too many seminars, or stream too many podcasts and you’ll suffer an information overload. So how do you avoid this? Below are a handful of methods I used to approach self-growth in a healthier, more effective way.

Read Less, Do More

There’s nothing wrong with exploring different methods and schools of thought. The issue arises when that’s all you do. At some point, you need to settle on a plan of action and execute it. In other words, you have to just start ‘doing.’ 

For example, say you’ve been studying different study techniques to help you prepare for your finals. You’ve compiled a list of methods you want to try but can’t decide which one will work best. Instead of obsessing over every minute detail to arrive at the ‘perfect’ option, pick one you feel confident about and experiment. If it works, add it to your study toolkit. If it doesn’t, move on to the next one and see if that works. 

The key here is realizing that perfection is a myth. You’ll rarely find the absolute best method for anything. Instead, you should focus on finding the strategies that work best for you.

Avoid Toxic Productivity 

Toxic productivity refers to the belief that you must constantly be doing something ‘productive’ or risk wasting precious time you’ll never get back. It’s no surprise that this type of mentality can lead to a lot of unhappiness down the line.

You might be inundated with tons of social media content touting the ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ approach to life. You might even know a handful of workaholics who wear their affliction like a badge of honor. This kind of hustle culture might seem attractive on the surface, but the reality of this type of lifestyle is far from ideal.

Behind the facade of 60-hour work, weeks, and zero vacation days lie the harsh realities of such a lifestyle. Missed birthdays, graduations, travel opportunities, and a fading social life are part and parcel of the toxic productivity ethos.

Gratitude and patience are excellent antidotes to toxic productivity. Remember to take some time out of your day to recognize how much you’ve progressed in your pursuit of growth and take note of what you truly value in life to stay grounded.

Regulate Your Social Media Consumption

Filtering or limiting your exposure to ‘hustle culture’ content on social media will help you avoid the pitfalls of toxic productivity. Apps like Instagram and TikTok are becoming more sophisticated and efficient at tailoring your feed to match the type of content you regularly consume. In short, the more toxic productivity content you consume, the more saturated your local feed becomes.

Having ‘alpha males’ reminding you that a ‘scarcity mindset’ and sacrificing balance in life are surefire ways to become successful will eventually take its toll on you, so regulate your social media content wisely. 

Final Thoughts

There’s nothing inherently wrong with consuming self-improvement media. Audiobooks, podcasts, newsletters, and books can offer a ton of valuable information you can implement to improve your life radically. But paralysis by analysis is a very real thing that can quickly derail your self-betterment efforts. There is no such thing as a ‘perfect method’ for doing anything. Experiment with different tools to see what works best for you and prioritize balance in your life. Remember, there is nothing wrong with taking time off to spend with loved ones, pursue hobbies, or simply do nothing. As the adage goes, we work to live, not live to work.  

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